Stick Together

Financial strain is a leading cause of divorce. The irony is that divorce costs so much money that it only makes finances worse—much worse. In 2007, it was reported that the costs of a divorce in the U.S. ran from $10,000-$20,000 (If you have that kind of money to throw around I can think of some better ways to use it!)

Then there is the expense of two residences—two of everything. If you have children there’s the expense of child support, which many of the people who are ordered to pay, consider to be far out of proportion to their income. Those who are designated to receive it—often don’t and end up having to pay the costs on their own. Alimony may be another expense of divorce in your state.

Difficult times are the times to stick together as husband and wife. Be patient with each other. Listen. Remember what drew you together in the first place. I’ve heard marriage teachers say that if you can persevere; your marriage will get better sooner than you think (they say that statistics bear it out). But it does take a conscious choice.



I’m in no way an expert on this subject but I do know that divorce costs money in addition to tremendous pain. I do, however, know how to stay married through difficult times as my husband and I are on our thirty-second year of marriage.

From the Farm

This is a great time to save money on fruit and vegetables at your local produce stand or farmers’ market. Not only are you supporting what are usually local “Mom & Pop” businesses but you’ll find a considerable savings over the grocery store prices—sometimes as much as a dollar a pound! You’ll also find a greater variety, which can include shell beans (I especially like the magenta mottled “October beans”) and heirloom tomatoes (though they tend to be a good bit more expensive, I hear they taste delicious). Community abounds in such settings, you never know who you’ll see from “way back when” and they can be very international. Sometimes you can even find home baked bread or flowers there. Take along your cloth or reusable plastic shopping bags and help them keep their prices down.

mixed media painting "Terrific Turnips" by Joan C. Thomson (c)

Save the Electric & Save the Dollars

A little planning and patience can go a long way in electricity and natural gas savings.
•Run your dishwasher only when it’s full
•Refrigerators run more efficiently when full & when opened as little as possible
•Use lids on cooking pots so the heat doesn’t escape—the food will take less fuel to cook it and you won’t get as hot!
•Keep closets closed (unless you’re airing them out). Remember when you’re mother told you that your family couldn’t afford to “air condition the great outdoors”? the same applies to your inner closets.
•And speaking of the “great outdoors”, what your mother said is true (see above). When you open outer doors, be brief.

Drop the Shop

I used to love shopping, it didn’t matter whether it was inside the store or window shopping, I loved the excitement of seeing nicely arranged, new and colorful things. Now I’ve learned that if I stay out of the stores—unless I need something, I’m less likely to decide that I must buy some “wonderful” thing. And then the something that goes with that thing…things I often didn’t even know existed until I saw them!

Sometimes however, shopping is useful in order to know who has what, so you’ll know where to look when a need arises. Okay, so I still enjoy shopping but more often than not, when I get home I appreciate what I already have all the more. The key is being disciplined and purposeful in your shopping, knowing what you truly need and can truly afford.

Respectable Discounts

If someone in your household is eligible for a senior discount, make the most of it. Though the qualifying age for senior discounts varies—and continually changes, many businesses and organizations offer them. Banks offer free checking, grocery stores—especially natural food stores, and thrift stores offer percentage discounts on certain days while restaurants often offer “early bird specials” for seniors in the late afternoon. If a policy isn’t posted, it doesn’t hurt to ask—if a business doesn’t offer a senior discount perhaps they will if enough people ask (sometimes one or two inquiries is all it takes for a new policy to be written—depending on the size of the business). Even the U.S. National Parks Service offers a special deal for those 62 and over and those in their car. http://www.us-parks.com/golden-age-passport.html

Cable Cuts

I’ve often read that a way to save money is to cancel your cable TV service. I haven’t tried this one since we’ve never subscribed to this obvious financial drain and don’t plan to. Of course, canceling your contract may cost too much so it may be best to wait until it’s finished—unless after you do the math you find that you would still come out ahead. (Some may live in areas that don’t receive TV reception any other way. Then the question is, “Do you need to eat, pay your bills—fill in the blank more than you “need” TV?)

Till the Last Drop

*Cut open empty bags of sugar or flour and in the folds you’ll find as much as a quarter cup more of sugar or flour!

*Discount stores sell plastic “keys” to roll your toothpaste (and other products) tubes flat so you can get the most out of them. However, they only roll as far as the “shoulders” of the tube; a pair of pliers works nicely to squeeze out two or three more brushes full. Then if you really want to get the most out of your tube, cut it open with some clean scissors and scrape the insides with a rubber spatula. This probably works best on plastic tubes; I haven’t tried the metal ones.

*Turning cartons of milk or juice (oil bottles too) upside down for a few minutes with the lid on can loosen a teaspoon or more from the sides of the carton.

Clean Clothes Warm Heart

Know someone going through financial strain, who doesn’t have a washer and dryer? Invite them over from time to time to wash & dry a couple of loads in your machines. It could save them as much as $15 and it’s a great way to get to know each other better.

Cash Flow

Sales and discounts give great opportunities for “stocking up” but during lean times it can be more important to keep your “cash flow”. It’s a good idea to only buy one (or two if it’s something you’ll need right away such as a food item) of the sale item until you know that your bills can be met along with any unexpected expenses.

Obvious or New

Many of the ideas I’m writing may be very obvious to some who have been at resource-stretching for a long time. Yet, I’m including everything I can think of just in case someone hasn’t heard; I learned long ago that not everyone has the same framework of learning or experience. Some of the practices will seem too small to make a difference but they can add up more quickly than you think. Most are things I’ve tried myself—maybe I read it somewhere but I’ve made them part of my life and now I want to share them with you. Even if you have plenty of money/resources, you may want to try some of these things for your health, the health of God’s creation and to free up resources to help others.

Personal H2O

Personal plastic bottles of water bought in multiples not only add up in cost but apparently put us at risk from leaching BPAs. Replace your plastic habit by purchasing stainless steel water bottles almost anywhere (as low as $4.99 each)and fill them with your own filtered water—better for you and better for the environment. Most must be hand-washed and not put in the dishwasher. We tried the BPA-free plastic bottles but they leaked, broke and melted; they were much more expensive than the stainless steel for their size.

Calling Home

If you still have a “land line”, a pre-paid phone card can make costly monthly charges for a long distance service unnecessary. Stores such as Walgreens and Wal-Mart sell the cards in increments of $10, $20 and up, with more minutes—and a better per minute rate for more money (i.e. a $30 card will have more and cheaper minutes than a $10 card). You buy what you need (within those amounts) and use it when you need it (though they often expire in a year but can be added to). Unlike monthly rate services, they’re portable so you can use them at someone else’s house or on the road (the rate per minute is higher on pay phone calls, which means your minutes are used faster).

Coupons?

Use coupons wherever you can—for groceries, restaurants, even car & home repair, but don’t let them entice you into buying something you wouldn’t normally buy. The same goes for “sales”—if you can’t use it, don’t truly have the money for it or it will cost you more for extra components or space to house it—it’s not a bargain!

Thrift Shops

Thrift shops operated by organizations such as the Salvation Army and Goodwill can be a great place to find clothing at very low prices. Don’t let pride interfere, many of the clothes are in very good condition—some are even new with the tags still on and you’ll be helping out those who are possibly worse off than even you! Some thrift shops have better quality than others overall while the others have good things that just need to be discovered. Most price their items in the $3-$5 range with dresses, suits and coats somewhat higher. High-end shops such as those run by Junior League (a service organization for young women—called Junior League Wearhouse in our area) have very nice clothes but you will pay a very nice price for them. Still, if you have a daughter who is prom-bound, you can likely find a beautiful dress for her there (or even at one of the lesser priced thrift shops) since they’ve only been worn once--wedding dresses too. Just in case I need to say it, always wash it before you wear it. In addition, double-check all zippers, buttons, seams, etc. since they often don’t take returns. My husband once bought a beautiful shirt at a higher end shop only to discover at home that there were no buttons! (I once had a friend who cut all the buttons off the clothes she donated! Please don’t do that!) Consignment shops are another possibility but the prices are much higher.

Is It Really a Good Deal?

Not everything that is said to save money is worth the “cost” in the long run. I had heard that Wal-Mart had a good deal on eyeglasses, the ones I had were literally falling apart and we didn’t have much money so I bought some new glasses there. During the first year, I began to notice “bubbles” in the lens coating but when I took them in to the eye wear shop, the optician said, “Sorry, the warranty is up.” They would take no responsibility for a faulty product; she wouldn’t budge. Now in year four, they are severely scratched though I take good care of them—this has never happened in many years of wearing glasses.

Food Bank Needs

Now is an important time to contribute to food banks as many more people need help with food. When help with food is provided, scarce money is freed up to cover other expenses. Please remember to contribute good stuff, not outdated cans or junk food. Many a food bank in the 80’s, was stocked with grocery stores’ outdated gourmet jars—interesting, but how do you prepare that stuff? In the general public an attitude often emerges, which says, “If you’re hungry enough, you’ll eat anything!” Maybe. Would you? What would you want your children to eat in order to be healthy?

Dried beans are a popular staple for food banks and they are an inexpensive, nutritious non-perishable. However, they need to be soaked in water overnight (or the equivalent in hours) then cooked for about two hours. This takes preplanning, extra fuel and close attention to continually add water. When one is in crisis, such a commitment is hard to make. Canned beans are more efficient yet they contain a tremendous amount of sodium. I don’t yet know the solution to the bean dilemma (low sodium canned beans are scarce)—hopefully someone will find a way to provide fresh vegetables.

Long-cooking rice, though taking less preparation time than beans, still ties up resources. While it costs more, quick brown rice (I prefer Uncle Ben’s) takes only ten minutes to prepare (five minutes cooking and five minutes “sitting”); it’s nutritious and delicious making it a great non-perishable food to contribute to your local food bank.

Staying Bright

Turning your clothes inside out before you put them in the wash will help keep their color from fading. When your clothes continue to look bright and fresh, you’ll feel less demoralized and be less tempted to spend money to replace them.

Hospitality

If you know someone who has been laid off or has some other economic crisis, there’s a strong possibility that he or she feels isolated. When my husband was unemployed, friends would occasionally treat us to dinner at a restaurant, which we truly appreciated. But we longed for an invitation to a meal in their home. We just wanted to be included in their lives but (until recent years) that rarely happened during our unemployment times. We wanted to tell people, “You don’t have to go to any great lengths, a simple meal is fine! We just want to be with you.”
Include those going through economic hard times in your life; don’t leave them in the margins. Yes, it’s good to straighten your home up a bit but it’s not like the white glove committee is coming to inspect—it doesn’t have to be perfect. And no, I’m not very good about this myself but I’m trying to “do unto others as I’d have them do unto me”, as Jesus said.

Water Conservation

We’ve learned in our area (NC), during recent years of drought, the importance of conserving water--for the environment and for ourselves since neither lasts well without it. As it turns out, conserving water is also good for saving money, especially since water rates are increasing! When you’re running water in the kitchen to get it hot, put a container in the sink to catch the cold water for use in rinsing dishes or watering plants; you can put a container under the bathtub faucet to catch the water that runs before the shower engages and at the end when it returns to the faucet. A short pitcher or a gallon jug with the top cut out (leave the handle) work well (sometimes in the kitchen, I use a glass or whatever is handy). Of course, turn the water off any time you’re not specifically using it, such as while you’re brushing your teeth. A portable kitchen timer can help with shortening showers (the average American shower runs 7-10 minutes; depending on which report you read).

Movies

You can still watch movies! Maybe not at sky-high cinema prices (though matinees, student & senior discounts help) but public libraries usually have a decent selection of DVDs even if you have to order ahead. Usually, patrons have access to the entire library collection and can request a particular title sent to their branch—for “free” (Library cards are very cheap & your tax dollars pay for the libraries whether you use them or not). Note: Many library systems have fallen on hard times, so in order to keep this valuable resource available, contact your local officials to let them know how important the libraries are to making it through our economic hard times.

If you must have the “latest release” and can’t wait—The “Redbox” automated DVD rental system at our local grocery is a popular alternative to high rental prices—vending new releases for a dollar but I think it’s only for one night and you have to have a credit card(makes me nervous that we might be late).

"All or Nothing"

An all-or-nothing outlook can trip you up in regard to staying afloat, “If I can’t have exactly the job I want—at the same salary I won’t have any,” (though there are certainly many advantages to working at what you’re best at and disadvantages to being away from your field but there may be some middle ground) or “We have to do without absolutely everything,” can do you more harm than good. Times are changing and jobs won’t be the same as before, besides you may find that you don’t need as much! Beauty and enjoyment can be experienced without spending a lot (or any) and you’ll find that they are an important part of thinking clearly and avoiding depression. Making gradual changes before the need is dire, can avoid shocking your system.

It's Not Your Fault

First of all, I want to encourage you by saying that you’re not a bad person just because you were laid-off. It’s not a sign that you have some hidden sin or even that you’re under a curse. We’ve been told both things many times by people who had abundance (it hurt) and both sayings are more likely false than true. Take heart, things like lay-offs happen but you don’t have to be pulled down by them.